Dan John talks about the wisdom of one of his teachers. It was a nun who spoke on a spectrum of Work, Rest, Play, and Pray. I think my focus as of late has strictly been on the work. It’s getting to the point where I need to pay my dues to Rest, Play and Pray otherwise my body will force me to do so. It’s been a sprint over the past couple days and this weekend will be challenging as we celebrate the life of my Grandmother who we lost last week. I’m very blessed in that we had a wonderful visit with her prior to her passing.
Source: Ray Dalio – Principles
Lesson: Do work, build community, make money
I finally was able to finish the first go around with this book. I think the framework that Mr. Dalio was able to develop for his office was excellent. Radical transparency is a concept that my wife first introduced me to. It causes some short term pain for a long term payoff. I find that in our American culture we are sacrificing honest and transparency to be “nice/kind.” While there are less harsh ways to deliver uncomfortable feedback, feedback globally is a gift (Sashi Matta) and needs to be given for progress to occur. Other notable quotes from this book included – watch for job slip and slip down; worrying about what will go wrong will protect you. Big picture have a plan, figure stuff out, and be honest with people. In simple terms these concepts are easy. I’m uncertain if cultural upbringing or a lack of training in having these conversations are what lead to us being inept at following through with the basics. Paul Chek stated that his whole career has been beating the drum of the health basics – nutrition, hydration, breathing, thinking, moving, sleep. Making these things a priority will lead to health. The global neglect of these concepts will lead to problems. Maybe that’s the bigger take away from the book – develop a system that does not allow for things to fall through the cracks.
Source: When the Time Comes – A caregiver’s guide: Hospice Pamphlet – Ohio Health
Lesson: Goals at the end of life: have a sense of meaning about one’s life, experience love of self, experience love of others, have a sense of peace with family and friends, be at peace about the ending of life, have a sense of meaning about life in general, give into the unknown, have a sense that personal business is complete.
Reflection: I’m very blessed. In my last meetings with both of my grandmothers, the last thing that they said to me was, “I love you.” They both exhibited brief waves of energy and were in and out of this life when I was with them. It was comforting. When I asked my grandma her favorite thing about her husband she said, “Don is such a gem. He’s the most patient man I know. He’s patient when he doesn’t have to be.” It was a wonderful thing to hear. When she spoke of her husband she light up and smiled. It’s amazing how that feeling of amor – the connection of two people. This connects to Keith Witt’s quote from last week – to love is to be at one with. In thinking about the goals at the end of life, I try to think about how can I start working towards those things now. On Dan John University – there’s a daily checklist. One of them is improving a personal relationship a day. I think just calling one person to see how they are is one of the best things that we can do a day. Another easy habit is to just give a person a compliment. Tell them what you like about them. This practice is wonderful as we start to build appreciation for on another.
Source: Loving Completely – Keith Witt
Lesson: A good marriage is one where both partners continually take care of their marital friendship and marital love affair, and they repair problems and emotional injuries back to shared love quickly and effectively.
Reflection: Unfortunately, I cannot remember the name of one of my college religious studies professors. When he discussed marriage he said I don’t like pre-marital counseling because marriage is hard and people just need to figure it out on their own. I still think I agree completely with that statement. I have found Dr. Witts book on relationships and the questions we should be asking to be quite interesting. The think I cannot figure out is do we luck into “good” supportive relationships or do you need two people who are willing to be vulnerable and grow with one another. This ties in to Ray Dalio’s book on radical transparency. I think it’s much easier to accept criticism/feedback from someone you know cares about you. I find it much easier to do when my wife gives me feedback because we have so many good experiences together. I personally find it very challenging to accept feedback from someone who has not built up trust. I think the better practice may be to listen and consider all perceptions, but we don’t have to accept their perspective. This is challenging but a noble goal to strive for.
Quote: What lies before us and what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us. And when we bring what is within out into the world, miracles happen. – Henry David Thoreau
Band of the Week: Kyuss
Seeking Progress 